When life brings us pain, struggle or challenges, these are the cups that God will use to get the glory for our story As you prepare for your healing journey, it is imperative that you understand the your cup. Your cup will feel different when you remember Jesus had a cup…that He didn’t want, and that He prayed to God to let it pass (Matthew 26:39). In other words, your cup isn’t supposed to be desirable, your cup is supernatural. Let me explain something about your cup…
You will never know that “all things are possible with God” unless you’ve had a cup that was impossible for you. You see, faith without a testimony can’t give God the glory — not authentically. It’s one thing to quote the scriptures, it’s another to become the scriptures, a living epistle — the word manifested: “You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men…” (2 Corinthians 3:2–3). Your cup is not for your destruction, your cup is for your divine purpose…to give God the glory for your story.
You’ve heard people talk about how much they love God, you’ve heard people quote the Bible backwards and forwards but how often do you hear testimonies? How often do hear the truth about this faith walk? You see, it’s easy to love God when we don’t need God, when everything is going perfectly, when life is good, when the enemy isn’t testing your faith and when you don’t have a dream or a goal bigger than you are. A cup is not what we sign up for, a cup is what we get assigned…when God is building His Kingdom through you. Understand something, God didn’t cause the conditions that created your cup, God causes the conditions that turn your cup into a testimony.
Put this in your spirit: Jesus prayed 3 times for His cup to pass…God never answered Him. Jesus prayed so hard for his cup to pass until the Bible tells us He sweat blood. Jesus’ cup was the cross he had to bear to fulfill scripture for His life, and we will have cups in life for the reason (Luke 14:27). The Bible tells us that Jesus’ cup had to be fulfilled in order for the scriptures to be fulfilled (Matthew 26:56). Hear that again…Jesus’ cup had to be fulfilled in order for the scriptures to be fulfilled.
Your cup will cause you to grieve, it will not feel good but when we understand that when life gives us a cup, a cross to bear, God will use that cup to fulfill scripture through us — just like Jesus. A cup is not about what you deserved or what you did, a cup is about the anointing on your life. A cup is about a deeper relationship with your Savior. A cup is about God using your life to fulfill the scriptures. When you said Yes to God, you said yes to being a living epistle, a vessel through which God would work through to fulfill His plans for your life: “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). Your anointed oil is not cheap! The cost is paid through the crushing.
God chose you because through you, and your faith, He is going to do great things in the earth for all to see. You will be the scripture, “All things work together for the good” (Romans 8:28). You will be the scripture, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17). You will be the scripture, “God delivers them from the hand of the wicked and redeems from the grasp of the ruthless” (Jeremiah 15:21). You will be the scripture, “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4). You will be the scripture, “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). You will be the scripture, “God heals and brings peace, abundance and security” (Jeremiah 33:6). You will be the scripture, “Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). You will be the scripture, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). You will be the scripture, “God will bless the work of your hands” (Deuteronomy 28:12).
God chose you to be the scripture that proves to the world that He is greatly to be praised: “Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; And His greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts” (Psalm 143:3-4).
Your victory, your faith, will testify for generations to come of the mighty works of God. You won’t be talking about what you read about or what you heard about, you will be testifying about the supernatural, unsearchable, undeniable greatness of God because you were chosen to be a living epistle. You don’t just have the anointing, you have a calling to fulfill the scripture — not just quote the scripture.
This cup you have will bring you low but God will lift you high because you are a living epistle, the fulfillment of scripture. The Bible declares, “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself” (John 12:32). God is going to lift you up because lifting you up lifts Him up!
When you embark on your healing journey, your victory journey, remember these truths. The truth you use and the words you speak will matter. It takes courage and conviction to stand on the truth and resist the enemy’s lies about your victory but resist you must: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). You see, the enemy lies because lies prevent us from submitting to God, hearing from God, trusting in God and hoping in God.
When you’re in a battle, examine your beliefs. I’m talking about the beliefs that cause you to doubt God, the beliefs that cause you to keep picking up what you already put on the alter, the beliefs that tell you that you can’t and the beliefs about the one who betrayed your love. It is critical for you healing journey that you give yourself a solid foundation for your mental and emotional healing with the truth. Before we move on, I want to elaborate on, “why they did what they did.”
Why do betrayers betray or abusers abuse? The bible gives us the best answer to this question: Judas didn’t betray Jesus because Jesus didn’t love Judas or didn’t love Judas enough. Judas betrayed Jesus because Judas was a betrayer (John 12:1–6). Betrayal has nothing to do with what you did, what you didn’t do, or what you could have done differently. Betrayal has nothing to do with how much you loved them or you being able to love them enough to stop them from betraying you.
No matter how much you loved them, betrayers do what betrayers do…which is the reality that we must accept to heal forward. You’re healing from not knowing, not expecting and not believing that they could betray you, you’re not healing from them being a betrayer — you don’t control that. Don’t ask why they did what they did, they did what they did because that’s what betrayers do — to anybody, including Jesus.
Understanding the truth about them doesn’t require you to get a PhD in narcissism or personality disorders. Truth about why they did what they did, as far your healing is concerned, only requires an understanding about free will of choice. They didn’t betray or abuse you because they are a narcissist, they betrayed or abused you because they chose to. Narcissism doesn’t make someone betray or abuse, narcissism makes them selfishly unconcerned about the harm they cause. It is important to knows what diagnosed Narcissistic Personality is and what it’s not. For an overview of what clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder actually is, read the Cleveland Clinic article, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
One of the biggest roadblocks to healing, and major reason for cognitive dissonance (emotional struggle between the truth and lie), is trusting that you made the right decision to save your life, and trusting the truth about who they are. Lingering doubts about who they are or why they did what they did will keep you looking backwards instead of forward. Your answer is in their behavior…they don’t have a difficulty controlling their anger, they control their anger just fine when in public, when trying to impress others, when the situation or audience dictates. They don’t abuse or betray everyone, they selectively abuse and betray. They don’t act the same in public as they do behind closed doors because they have the ability to control themselves — when it’s convenient.
Like Judas, abusers abuse and betrayers betray because that’s who they are or who they choose to be. You cannot focus on their why and your healing. God provided a concise, detailed explanation of what toxic behavior is and how to respond (2 Timothy 3:1-5), why they do what they do (James 1:13-15), and why even He severs relationship with an evil heart (Romans 1:28-32).
It’s not uncommon to feel torn when emotionally challenged to face the truth about a narcissist. After all, the narcissist doesn’t show up, typically, flashing red lights, there were good times — recesses between the hell. That person who won you over may have appeared real, they may have even tried to be real but their truth is, they don’t have the emotional ability or the emotional integrity to resist the temptation to exploit, manipulate and deceive for selfish gain. The beginning of the end of cognitive dissonance is acknowledgement. Acknowledging the truth about them — they aren’t, can’t and never will be the person you thought they were. Your feelings aren’t for who they are, your feelings are for who you thought they were or hoped they would be. Stand in that truth, and tell yourself what you would tell someone you love dearly about holding on to someone who doesn’t exist.
You can spend the rest of your life wondering if they really love you or why they did what they did, or you can tell yourself the truth. Jesus’ life wasn’t over when Judas betrayed Him, Judas’ role in Jesus’ life was over. Jesus was betrayed, hung, buried and resurrected with all power. Your life isn’t over, your confusion about who they are is over…and yes, that cross is difficult to bear and the pain will feel like it’s burying you but if you hold fast to the truth, you will heal and you will be resurrected from the past with all power.
The Bible tells us to examine ourselves, examine our beliefs, to make sure that they represent truth: “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Corinthians 13:5). False evidence appearing real (FEAR) will put weight on your wait, pressure on your promise and fear in your fight. Lies will make you stress over your process and focus on distractions. Lies will make you think that you are not more than a conqueror and will even make you fight the wrong fight in the battle.
Remember these three truths in the battle for your victory:
- Respond to lies with the truth. If it causes you to speak death, it’s a lie. If you don’t know the truth, or the truth you use causes you to doubt yourself or God, seek wise counsel for the truth you need.
- Cast down all thoughts that exalt themselves above the knowledge of the truth (2 Corinthians 10:5). It’s not enough to know the truth, you have defend the truth beloved. You have to recognize the symptoms of a lie and be ready to cast down, as often as necessary: “But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope that is in you…” (1 Peter 3:15). The battle in the battle is getting, using and defending the truth beloved.
- Recognize what the battle is challenging. In other words, the victory is already won, God’s will is already done…the battle is not over the victory, the battle is over what we must learn to submit to God (James 4:7), in order to resist the enemy.
To be more than a conqueror, you have to have put on the mindset of a conqueror. Your truth matters, your words matter in the battle. The battle is not yours, it’s the Lords…the battle in the battle is remembering and using your truth.
Patrick
